I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
