It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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