I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
