you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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