i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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