i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize