whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
