I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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