If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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