Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've blown a few things in my day
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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