I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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