You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
