I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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