No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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