to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
