I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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