just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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