A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
