I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
