Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize