Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
