It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
