I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Text me some of your sweat
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
