Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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