Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
