dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
