We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
