I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
