where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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