Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
