then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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