CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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