You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
