That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have already put on my inside pants.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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