dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
