I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
