also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
