so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
