i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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