i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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