4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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