Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize