question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
