his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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