oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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