This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Farmville is her only friend.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
