I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
