Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
