Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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