my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
