We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
