The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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