So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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