Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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