I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
