I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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