and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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