"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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