this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
